Real quick: 100% of my royalties from my book The Porn Myth go directly to Children of the Immaculate Heart—an apostolate that serves survivors of sex trafficking throughout San Diego County.
Hey Matt, pretty significant typo in your first paragraph: It states, “The book is a non-religious defense of pro-porn arguments.” I think you mean “response,” not “defense.” Right?
I like the book by Rollo May that defines to be human is to be addicted. I forget the name of the book. I read it years ago… What is addiction???? forgetting who we are . a beloved son and daughter of God not just male and female. When I practice the presence of Him and lift my senses to deeper realities than the darkness doesn’t swallow me into deeper distractions .. ( new word for addictions) in those dark places. I agree the addiction word is worn out.. perhaps it’s indeed more about distraction and boredom. You’re bored because you’re trying to find something to occupy that hole and only God will feel . To stay in the ache .. and live in the ache without or at least less distraction is spiritual maturing … I’m not trying to be simplistic just trying to reduce it to a simple concept that our little minds can grasp. Thank you, Matt for your insight, your humility, humor and being real and raw as we scratch and crawl away to our forever home on these tumultuous storms of life.. we’re fellow shipmates on a journey to the shores of heaven our forever home.
That’s a good question and I’m not wedded to the term. There are psychological and spiritual definitions and then there are neurological indicators. I suppose if someone experienced “an inability to quit despite adverse consequences” coupled with those neurological indicators, we might call it an addiction.
I feel compelled to speak up here or at least to clarify. I lost a sister to heroin in 2008 and haven’t spoken to my brother in over a decade because of drug addiction. I’m raising my three nephews because the last of my three siblings is a recovering addict. Grace be to God, three years ago, she was able to get clean from all hard drugs but doesn’t have the physical or physiological capacity to raise her children.
Equating legal pornography use with any addiction is a harmful and is a false equivalency. Addiction is a clinically recognized disorder that devastates lives, families, and entire communities. I’ve witnessed it firsthand.
Struggling with masturbation or viewing legal porn occasionally, even regularly, does not automatically constitute addiction. That term has weight. It involves physical dependence, withdrawal, and often life-threatening consequences. To blur the lines between a compulsive habit and a lethal disease minimizes the suffering of those affected by real substance addiction.
I understand and respect your desire to challenge the impact of pornography. But I urge you and others to do so with care and clarity — not by drawing comparisons that risk misrepresenting people whose lives have been irreversibly shattered by real addiction.
I said “legal” to distinguish between pornography involving two consenting adults and content that is criminal, like pedophilia or bestiality. That’s the context in which I used the word, not to imply legality means something is safe or non-addictive. I absolutely agree that legal things can be addictive—alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, and yes, porn.
My point is about the behavior, not whether there’s a substance involved. I used the word “substance” because that’s the framework of my personal experience. The underlying pattern is the same regardless of which “poison” you choose. It’s the cycle of compulsion, risk-taking, escalation, and chasing a dopamine response. Addiction is when it gets to the point where it impacts your relationships, your ability to function, or even hold a job—that’s not just a moral issue. That’s a clinical one.
Thank you for the condolences. I follow your content and wouldn’t share something this personal if I thought you were insincere. I appreciate your time.
I understand what you’re saying, and I agree that pornography can be harmful. But addiction is a clinical diagnosis that requires the person struggling to meet specific criteria, like functional impairment or loss of control. Using the term too loosely blurs the line between personal conviction and clinical reality. The real risk isn’t ignoring the dangers of pornography, but conflating moral belief with complex psychological conditions. If someone truly believes they have an addiction they should seek specific medical treatment. This is not to dissuade you from the work you’re doing because I see the positive impact you’re having on many people, including me. But promoting abstinence, while incredibly important, noble, and necessary, is a world apart from seeking proper treatment.
What really changed my mind about porn were interviews with ex-pornstars about how emotionally and spiritually wrecked porn actors and actresses are. There is no “fun” involved in what they do; most are on drugs to get through the day. And of course, there’s the issue of adult and child sex trafficking, which is one of the greatest evils in this world, together with abortion. Just imagine watching this horror and misery and getting a kick out of it… which is what you do when you watch porn.
> By the age of 25, this region of the brain reaches maturity
Like most claims based on neuroscience, this is probably unfounded or even meaningless. The only objective indicator of adulthood is the completion of puberty, which varies across time and race, not whatever neuroscientists say it is; they are almost always wrong about everything, especially the brain. Minus the neuroscience, this was a great article.
Well written! Thank you for all the podcasts and interviews you have done to shine light upon this evil. You have been a Godsend in this area of my life.
I got given an ipad way too early in life with little to no protections against the perversion of pornography. Pornography rearing its ugly head while I was innocently scrolling the internet when I was 9 was not consensual, sexual activity between adults but the predatory abuse of minors by the porn industry. The separation of the screen changes nothing.
I don’t understand how other people do not share my visceral gut-level disgust of modern internet pornography websites. It’s so awful. We abandoned boys. The academic whitewashing that it’s harmless is insane. It’s so obviously toxic to heterosexual men.
I used to think of porn as relatively harmless. After all, these women were likely paid to participate in these films. Then one day many years ago, I saw an ad showing a young beautiful woman in a red satin bikini, surrounded by men in tiny swimsuits. The worst part? She was heavily pregnant. I cried hard and have prayed for her whenever I think about it. I wonder what happened to her and her baby. The worst part of the addiction is the human trafficking.
I find your title initiating because if something makes me happy or satiates a need, what difference does it make if you think it makes me look immature?
Who are you? Get over yourself.
You’re leveraging the absolute wrong things to make a moral case, namely “fear of man.”
The Porn Myth has helped me immensely. I’ve given it to friends as well. Thank you Matt for redefining the conversation.
Hey Matt, pretty significant typo in your first paragraph: It states, “The book is a non-religious defense of pro-porn arguments.” I think you mean “response,” not “defense.” Right?
Oh my goodness! Thank you for the correction! lol. Changed!
Years ago, your podcast, Love People, Use Things helped me to control my decades-long porn addiction.
Thank you for continuing on with this fight.
This is a wonderful piece.
I still struggle, but thanks to your efforts, I now have the upper hand in this fight 99% of the time instead of the other way around.
It is a great argument. Unfortunately when any passion strikes, we don’t care about arguments in the moment.
Agreed. So how do we redirect the passion of lust. The only thing that can conquer a desire is a stronger one.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I nearly collapsed with laughter when this came into my inbox! 🤣🤣
The book is a defense of...what, now?!
My bad! Changed. :)
I like the book by Rollo May that defines to be human is to be addicted. I forget the name of the book. I read it years ago… What is addiction???? forgetting who we are . a beloved son and daughter of God not just male and female. When I practice the presence of Him and lift my senses to deeper realities than the darkness doesn’t swallow me into deeper distractions .. ( new word for addictions) in those dark places. I agree the addiction word is worn out.. perhaps it’s indeed more about distraction and boredom. You’re bored because you’re trying to find something to occupy that hole and only God will feel . To stay in the ache .. and live in the ache without or at least less distraction is spiritual maturing … I’m not trying to be simplistic just trying to reduce it to a simple concept that our little minds can grasp. Thank you, Matt for your insight, your humility, humor and being real and raw as we scratch and crawl away to our forever home on these tumultuous storms of life.. we’re fellow shipmates on a journey to the shores of heaven our forever home.
Just curious, what constitutes sex addiction in your opinion? Or is this settled research?
That’s a good question and I’m not wedded to the term. There are psychological and spiritual definitions and then there are neurological indicators. I suppose if someone experienced “an inability to quit despite adverse consequences” coupled with those neurological indicators, we might call it an addiction.
I feel compelled to speak up here or at least to clarify. I lost a sister to heroin in 2008 and haven’t spoken to my brother in over a decade because of drug addiction. I’m raising my three nephews because the last of my three siblings is a recovering addict. Grace be to God, three years ago, she was able to get clean from all hard drugs but doesn’t have the physical or physiological capacity to raise her children.
Equating legal pornography use with any addiction is a harmful and is a false equivalency. Addiction is a clinically recognized disorder that devastates lives, families, and entire communities. I’ve witnessed it firsthand.
Struggling with masturbation or viewing legal porn occasionally, even regularly, does not automatically constitute addiction. That term has weight. It involves physical dependence, withdrawal, and often life-threatening consequences. To blur the lines between a compulsive habit and a lethal disease minimizes the suffering of those affected by real substance addiction.
I understand and respect your desire to challenge the impact of pornography. But I urge you and others to do so with care and clarity — not by drawing comparisons that risk misrepresenting people whose lives have been irreversibly shattered by real addiction.
I said “legal” to distinguish between pornography involving two consenting adults and content that is criminal, like pedophilia or bestiality. That’s the context in which I used the word, not to imply legality means something is safe or non-addictive. I absolutely agree that legal things can be addictive—alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, and yes, porn.
My point is about the behavior, not whether there’s a substance involved. I used the word “substance” because that’s the framework of my personal experience. The underlying pattern is the same regardless of which “poison” you choose. It’s the cycle of compulsion, risk-taking, escalation, and chasing a dopamine response. Addiction is when it gets to the point where it impacts your relationships, your ability to function, or even hold a job—that’s not just a moral issue. That’s a clinical one.
Thank you for the reply
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. God bless you and your family and may her soul rest in peace. To say that pornography can be addictive is not to say that is has the same immediate and drastic consequences as certain drugs. But the fact remains that there is a lot research that shows that pornography can affect the brain like a drug ... if interested: https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-affect-the-brain-like-a-drug/?_gl=1*1jo8e0i*_up*MQ..*_ga*MTc3NjcxNDE3NC4xNzQ4NzgyMzQx*_ga_3VF64E6XBN*czE3NDg3ODIzNDEkbzEkZzEkdDE3NDg3ODIzNzEkajMwJGwwJGgw
Thank you for the condolences. I follow your content and wouldn’t share something this personal if I thought you were insincere. I appreciate your time.
I understand what you’re saying, and I agree that pornography can be harmful. But addiction is a clinical diagnosis that requires the person struggling to meet specific criteria, like functional impairment or loss of control. Using the term too loosely blurs the line between personal conviction and clinical reality. The real risk isn’t ignoring the dangers of pornography, but conflating moral belief with complex psychological conditions. If someone truly believes they have an addiction they should seek specific medical treatment. This is not to dissuade you from the work you’re doing because I see the positive impact you’re having on many people, including me. But promoting abstinence, while incredibly important, noble, and necessary, is a world apart from seeking proper treatment.
What really changed my mind about porn were interviews with ex-pornstars about how emotionally and spiritually wrecked porn actors and actresses are. There is no “fun” involved in what they do; most are on drugs to get through the day. And of course, there’s the issue of adult and child sex trafficking, which is one of the greatest evils in this world, together with abortion. Just imagine watching this horror and misery and getting a kick out of it… which is what you do when you watch porn.
> By the age of 25, this region of the brain reaches maturity
Like most claims based on neuroscience, this is probably unfounded or even meaningless. The only objective indicator of adulthood is the completion of puberty, which varies across time and race, not whatever neuroscientists say it is; they are almost always wrong about everything, especially the brain. Minus the neuroscience, this was a great article.
So if I’ve already damaged my decision making skills. How do I stop? What’s the neuroscience response to that. Can I rebuild?
Well written! Thank you for all the podcasts and interviews you have done to shine light upon this evil. You have been a Godsend in this area of my life.
I got given an ipad way too early in life with little to no protections against the perversion of pornography. Pornography rearing its ugly head while I was innocently scrolling the internet when I was 9 was not consensual, sexual activity between adults but the predatory abuse of minors by the porn industry. The separation of the screen changes nothing.
We let “porn” take our collective dignity, especially men. The consequences are here.
I don’t understand how other people do not share my visceral gut-level disgust of modern internet pornography websites. It’s so awful. We abandoned boys. The academic whitewashing that it’s harmless is insane. It’s so obviously toxic to heterosexual men.
I used to think of porn as relatively harmless. After all, these women were likely paid to participate in these films. Then one day many years ago, I saw an ad showing a young beautiful woman in a red satin bikini, surrounded by men in tiny swimsuits. The worst part? She was heavily pregnant. I cried hard and have prayed for her whenever I think about it. I wonder what happened to her and her baby. The worst part of the addiction is the human trafficking.
I find your title initiating because if something makes me happy or satiates a need, what difference does it make if you think it makes me look immature?
Who are you? Get over yourself.
You’re leveraging the absolute wrong things to make a moral case, namely “fear of man.”
Do you mean interesting?
Did you read the article? He goes into neurological research, so it’s not about moralising.