A Little Manual for Spiritual Warfare in the Age of Porn
In the fourth century, the desert monk Evagrius Ponticus wrote a small manual for spiritual warfare called Talking Back.
He believed that sin begins with a thought, and that the way to fight it is to answer it with truth. Following Christ in the wilderness, who answered temptation with Scripture, Evagrius paired specific lies with specific verses and taught his monks to “talk back” before the thought became an act.
This is not an invitation to enter into dialogue with temptation, to entertain it, or to reason on its terms. That is what Eve did in the garden. This is something different. The point is not to hold a conversation with the temptation, but to cut it short with what God has already said.
I wanted to do something similar for our time (by which I mean the thoughts and rationalizations that thrive in the age of Internet porn). So I asked the community on my YouTube channel what lies they listen to just before committing sexual sin. The responses were immediate and brutally honest (and beautifully vulnerable, honestly. I was very moved by them). I’ve compiled them here, editing some for brevity, and paired each one with a verse of Scripture.
My suggestion, for what it’s worth, is this: memorize the verse that corresponds to the lie you most often hear in moments of temptation. So that when the thought comes, you can answer it. Not with your own brilliance, but with the Word of God itself.
1. “It’s been a long day. I deserve this.”
“The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
— Romans 6:23
2. “I’m not actually hurting anyone.”
“Whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
— Matthew 5:28
3. “Just a little. I won’t go all the way.”
“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?”
— Proverbs 6:27
4. “I need this to fall asleep.”
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
— Psalm 4:8
5. “My wife isn’t interested anyway.”
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.”
— Ephesians 5:25
6. “Everyone struggles with this. It’s basically normal.”
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”
— Romans 12:2
7. “I already messed up this week. What’s one more time?”
“Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means!”
— Romans 6:1–2
8. “I can’t resist this. It’s too much.”
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful.”
— 1 Corinthians 10:13
9. “I need to get this out of my system.”
“Abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.”
— 1 Peter 2:11
10. “God understands. He knows I’m weak.”
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
— John 14:15
11. “It’s only fantasy. It’s not real.”
“Take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
— 2 Corinthians 10:5
12. “I can repent later.”
“Now is the day of salvation.”
— 2 Corinthians 6:2
13. “This will make me feel alive again.”
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
— Proverbs 14:12
14. “No one has to know.”
“All are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”
— Hebrews 4:13
15. “It must only be venial. I’m tired. I’m not fully consenting.”
“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.”
— Matthew 26:41
16. “Two consenting adults is all that matters.”
“Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
— 1 Corinthians 6:18
17. “God must forgive me. He’s loving.”
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked.”
— Galatians 6:7
18. “If I don’t relieve myself now, the urge will get worse.”
“Sheol and Abaddon [death and destruction] are never satisfied, and never satisfied are the eyes of man.”
— Proverbs 27:20
20. “No one will ever love me anyway.”
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
— Hebrews 13:5
21. “I’ve been addicted since I was a child. It’s not really my fault.”
“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
— Ephesians 5:14
22. “It will make the desire go away.”
“Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again.”
— John 4:13
23. “This is just part of being a man.”
“When I was a boy, I spoke like a boy, I thought like a boy, I reasoned like a boy. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:11
24. “I just don’t care right now.”
“Create in me a clean heart, O God.”
— Psalm 51:10
25. “This will be the last time.”
“Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.”
— John 8:34
This is fantastic and extremely helpful. Thank you Matt!
Absolutely amazing. Can’t thank you enough for writing this.